A Girl and Her Lipstick...A Love Story

 The beauty of beguiling lips...

and smooth pouts that make everyone around you smile because you just cannot stop smiling. Just the action of wearing makeup creates this aura, a strange lovely vision no less than blessed by the gods and goddesses of good cosmetics.  I have always been a beauty product nut and that love affair began back, well at the beginning...

Remembering lips of days past...

I guess like many young girls, I was a mall rat. That annoying girl with a ton of bags weighing her down. Happy, but never haughty. I so wanted to be a pretty popular one.As a Pre-internet and "totally radical" "80s on 8 " child, spending mega cash inside the shopping mall felt like heaven. I guess the pearly gates would have been equivalent to a cash register and a pair of Guess Jeans when I started using cosmetics during the early 90s. There was a wide eyed innocence and appreciation for the fine art of makeup application. It seemed as though my best swipes left me a victim of drugstore mass- market bad-lighting luck. Perhaps my mom felt very sorry for my brightest fuschia lips and decided that I truly needed an intervention. 

I was gingerly taken to a very different spot in my favorite department store by my loving mother. Somehow she knew that this day I discovered my new sanctuary and playground for my emerging woman. I started out as the chosen guinea pig of the beauty adviser for Fashion Fair Cosmetics. I, being a young lady of color had my challenges in shade selection: I  had this weird cafe au lait complexion that seemed to radiate a glowy yellowy tone. But just for kicks, I could turn beige without warning. Like I somehow was a radioactive matter. 

 Honestly, I hoped that this beautiful brown goddess with the perfect liner could make me into something better than I was, maybe a Hollywood starlet? There could be no lack of tricks of this trade with the brushes and blushers, liquid and creme compacts. How does someone keep it all straight? Plus how do I get my best look when we all are so different as the femme fatales of the world? At this point, this counter had all of my youthful naive concepts of makeup in its hands.

I needed answers. The makeup spoke to me and I loved the language. 

I was given some incredible skin care products and tips for how to keep my skin healthy and just fab. Plus, I carried home foundation in some Amber color, shadow, a bullet lipstick, and a blush. My mother didn't allow me to put all this stuff on in reckless abandon. First, a slow intro with the lipstick, and the other gear was for "special occasions". But eventually, there would be photos to take. If I couldn't at least pluck my crazily thick brows that Dad gifted me, could I wear some makeup please? My application was at least as good as paint with numbers, I'm sure. Neutral eyes, so I don't think I had any truly crazy photos. Mom should be so proud of me! 

I cheated on labels...

Wow. I discovered this really cool thing called a GWP, or Gift With Purchase. And maybe Estee Lauder had one. Then Clinique had it, too. "How can they give these away and still make money"?, I wondered. So, my trusted glam hands changed up too. I had a glorious green compact with a powder foundation now. So who needs the peach one? Call it confusion or a momentary lapse of judgement, but I needed that little brown bottle with the gold cap for what at age 17? But I collected them. And the pretty pouches. Had to have the silver bullet lipstick. And who didn't have a pot of Black Honey Different Lip Gloss? The yellow moisturizer was mine, too. "Dramatic difference" from the old me? I thought it yes. If you give me a red lipstick,  I was equally as gorgeous as Halle Berry (and even slightly delusional.)...

I found my guilty pleasure. Tried many. Loved them all. Left some in the dust. Threw a few out with the trash. Kept some faves. Discovered the store with the black and white stripes... (oh you naughty stripes, how you tempted me)

I am loyal to none, fall in love with all...

 Beautiful shades. In my world of freelance beauty writer, I observe cosmetics with a keen laser eye. I take a breath, find the latest shades and dive into the trends to find the proper fit. Some things are timeless, like red lipstick in your shade. Some are just fun time go-to's. My new shade of choice is just like that crazy good wearable anytime anywhere pair of shoes (with that heel that starts making a clacking sound because the tap came off). This one will be used to the very last trace in the tube and quickly reordered.

I met a "Temptation."...Gel Lip Colour-Laura Mercier

Just look at this deep purple shade in the tube. Looks scary.  But the sheerness of this berry shade is delightful as it is moisturizing. It may be glossy, but doesn't disappear for hours.  Plus, the summer ready limited edition color is edible. Hello! A sweet vanilla flavor makes this lipstick extra gratifying. Temptation was the right name for the New Attitude Summer 2014 lip shade. Its sister shade is Heartbreaker, a bubble gum pink. Try out Temptation and find a comfortable everyday shade that fits a neutral to a bright palette. 

Laura Mercier-Temptation Gel Lip Colour

For My Son...Putting the Puzzle Together: World Autism Awareness Day

For My Son...Putting the Puzzle Together: World Autism Awareness Day

This day matters for more than 1 in 68: 4/2/14

Today is World Autism Awareness Day. Think 1 in 68. World Nightly News recently aired a segment on the staggering statistics of the diagnosis of children with autism and the sharp increase. Where are all the new cases coming from? This is one of the most puzzling disorders out there, and as a parent of a child with Autism, I am a part of the gigantic jigsaw. There is no doubt that the need for autism research is critical. So many families are affected and now someone has to know another human being on the spectrum. 

On a day like today, the rest of the world can take a moment to focus on Autism and the benefit of reaching out to those who live with challenges and are simply some of the bravest spirits on the planet. Imagine going years without communication. Without saying a word. Or those who lost their smiles. The mysterious nature of Autism is no mystery when you are 1 in 68 or part of the village that adores them.

Why is it so difficult to find adequate dedicated funding to research a neurological disorder that has been around far longer than the current lifetimes of several generations of people? There is nothing new about the experience of persons struggling to find their unique voices; these were the unseen and thrown away castoffs of a previous heartless confused society. It takes more than doubt to understand the beauty inside of quiet souls of those with Autism. Instead, parents were informed that their children were not strong enough to function in society and needed to be institutionalized. Those who are placed behind closed doors never get to see the light... Times have changed for the better, though not without struggles as those who provide loving care for our Autistic children.

So, perhaps limited opportunities for research existed in my father's WW2 generations or worse yet, my grandmother's post Civil War era. So, no one called this curious disorder by any name. Due to this, many of us possibly experienced autism in vague ways. Maybe having a relative who just didn't communicate in a "regular" way, or who had "quirks". (Then again, who doesn't have those?) The word Autism just didn't exist then. And perhaps not the exact stigmatizing effect of the disorder to those who have not been touched yet through the life altering experience of knowing a person on the spectrum.

 I had a 1st Cousin who I loved dearly with some form of autism, as I know it today. He gave me kisses on the cheek and had a speech impediment. I saw the love and affection in him, and I felt the adoration that my favorite Aunt Etta had for him. She took him everywhere she went, even as a man in his 30's through the year she passed away, my first year as a teacher, 1998. He was passionate about his family, his mom, and being a part of his routine. He loved singing in church choir, which Aunt Etta greatly championed. Plus, she ensured his weekly trips to the barber. These seem such simple things. But these events without proper socialization opportunities were everything to my cousin. I found him kind, gentle, happy, and well mannered. His mother made sure he was well groomed, too. He above all of the things I saw him as, was more than anything material. He was loved by someone. This for someone with Autism is what gives them faith in the world. We allow them to touch the sky if we believe they deserve every chance to.

Now since she passed on, I carry the torch with my son. As she was a Leo, I have the lionhearted share of being a part of my son's great big beautiful world. He has a new perspective, colored lightly by Autism. But he is never limited. This year was the first time he mentioned having Autism. I am proud of his progress and of the champion's attitude he carries each day. He is much more than someone with Autism. He is smart, caring, loving, and filled with wisdom. Autism is a label and no defining brand. It fits behaviors, but there are great and beautiful things within a person with the Autism stamp. I am so blessed to have these moments to look underneath the surface and know it. The day I realized that Autism would never define us is the day I felt freedom from judgement or prejudices for my son. He is always going to be my brave little man...

Take today to show some kindness and love and do whatever honors the special families of those affected by Autism. The truth is that the autistic are truly awesome, non- judgemental, giant- hearted, talented gifts who just so happen to use Autism as a description of their disorder. Autism is with us, and will never disappear without more people doing something to increase the need for urgency , for grassroots efforts to join "Team Blue."  Trust me, families of children with Autism want your understanding today, through April's Autism Awareness Month, and for days when no one sees the struggles we face to share our courage for our children and to the world at large.

This Marley Owl has been a part of "Team Blue" for the past 12 years and an advocate for my Autistic son when he had no voice. I will forever be putting together the pieces along with the 1 in 68. We share this story, despite socioeconomic and cultural differences. We speak for them...we watch them grow and find words. We join our school system's Autism programs and watch the amazing Special Education Instructors and teams do their daily unsung work. 

Remember the 1 in 68 and families with loved ones on the Autism Spectrum...

A personal note of thanks and gratitude to everyone who shared my Autism moment and those who work with my son to make his world as typical as possible. Thank you today and every day...

The Marley Owl...

 

He lit my world in all colors...Today he wears blue for Autism Awareness. To my son and for all kids facing that uncertain Autism diagnosis: You absolutely matter and will change the world you live in for the better...

With Love,
Stephanie