...2/21/2014 ..."Today is not a day to feel sadness for him, but to revel in his joy. I will embrace my world more thanks to him being a part of my universe..."
Stephanie Marley McMechan
Autism is a word...
This word truly shakes most people to the core. It was quite an unbelievable word back in 2003 when I first heard it spoken to me. Not a word that I can say I understood all the components of. Especially not when it is connected to your son. Your youngest boy of just 14 months old. Tyler is this young man's name and Autism was the only game in town that I would have the opportunity to play alongside.
Autism Stole His Smile... But It Came Back Later
Once upon a time, my son smiled the most cherubic smile imaginable. No cheeks could flush quite like his. Light brown skin with a flash of light brown hair in the front, sort of the equivalent of the gray Widow's Peak. Yes, he was an original from the word go. And just loved to be exquisitely happy and well fed. He knew that treats were the key to making any road trip worthwhile. But one day...
The smiles became a twisted contortion of stillness. There was a lack of substance behind his dark brown eyes. He began to hit his head against the walls as he stood facing me. I knew that something had taken him over...like a foreign body. Maybe an organism seeped in one night in our slumber. God only knew the plight of my little boy Tyler.
Truthfully, I wondered if Tyler would ever attend school or have any friends. Most of my family was so distraught that they could only see my child as someone to be a caregiver for. There was a lack of enthusiasm for where this little soul would go. Think of a world colored with gray skies only. But not for me...I could not give up on the child that gave me so many little smiles from chubby cheeked babyhood. And the Leo in me is no quitter. I will give it my best run, despite the enormous incline. So we moved along...
Cries were more the vocalization than laughs. Actually blood curdling shrieks. And he cried. And he frowned. And frowned. But socialization brings forth contentment. And smiles from others are the biggest encouragement to be happy, too. And school helped him smile like his friends did. And learn to play with his toys.
After breaking his silence at age 6, he said "I love you, mom." Boy, those are the only words required to make a grown woman figure out the mysteries of the very Earth we tread. And if I didn't know any more, at least I knew he had a voice of his own.
And Today...
Tyler is One Amazing Owl Adoring Young Man
And he taught me the miracle of believing far past what your own eyes can visualize. There are paths that I never walked that I somehow found under the dirt...And conceived that they do exist. And Tyler never understood that he was anything less than who he is supposed to be.
Autism is not our defining moment. There are way too many moments to live while we are capable.
A Few Moments From 2/21/14... or #12onthe21st
(stepdad Jim was working, unable to have any massive fun)
Our culinary experience:
Majestic Burger in Ridgeland, MS makes some quite awesome burgers. And a great place for sharing a birthday experience! Doesn't his smile say everything?
(If you go, have the sweet sourdough bread. Phenomenal.)
Big Sister Martika Brianne is our rising star in the family. From her superb trombone skills to acoustic guitar prowess, she has musical abilities that always wow me. Plus, she has been very present as a sibling of a child with Autism. Sometimes it can be overwhelming, but she loves her brother, quirks and all.
The Redfish Sandwich was big sister's choice. She absolutely loved it. I had a touch of food envy here... But that is totally okay. Today is a day to revel in the happiness and food reaches us in a very personal way.
A Sweet Tart with Vanilla Ice Cream for a Sweetheart of a Son! The warmth of theberry compote filling met with some strange "Tyler looks" initially, but ice cream makes not just one spoon jump in, but all three! We thought it was the delicious finish to a really nice birthday treat at Majestic Burger of Ridgeland, MS.
That's Tyler and there is no doubt that he knows what day this is! Proud of himself and the magic in his smile... Being 12 on the 21st only happens once every 100 years. So, he loves both 12 and 21 for all the right reasons. But he loves his happy life each day! What a wise young man...
Once more, autism is a word. Not a definition. Be educated and fearless.
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